


I Don't Wanna Live Forever

by MotherofScavengers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is the God of Death, Ben's been pining, CW - Pregnancy Mentioned, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Happily Ever After, Rey is the Goddess of Love, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25248664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherofScavengers/pseuds/MotherofScavengers
Summary: A one shot inspired by thispromptfrom@welldonebecaon Twitter:Love goddess Rey has been tasked with finding love for Kylo, her friend and god of death. After centuries refusing any of the suitors she suggests, Kylo finally names the only person he would ever be willing to marry: Rey herself
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 46
Kudos: 497
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	I Don't Wanna Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you have a hearty appetite, because I am dishing up a big ass serving of fluff...with a satisfying side of smut. This one shot was my reward for getting my work done on another project, so the angst factor has been dialed back to like a two, and it just might give you a toothache. You've been warned. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> CW: brief discussion of death & mention of pregnancy
> 
> * Thank you so much to the creator of the prompt, WellDoneBeca, for the gorgeous aesthetic. I'm so touched you liked my interpretation of your story idea!

The sun was warm on her skin, and Rey pointed her toes and then flexed her heels, tension fleeing her bones. Closing her eyes, she relaxed against the lounge chair.

With a glass of crisp Sauvignon Blanc dangling from her fingertips, and a Taylor Swift song wafting through the air, she watched her friends Finn, Poe, and Kaydel playing in the surf. They had retired to her island in the Pacific the week before, and every day since had been filled with surfing, wake-boarding, karaoke, and laughter. After an eon away, tending to a never-ending stream of business, Rey was relieved to leave her responsibilities on the mainland for a time.

It was, of course, in that moment of tranquility, that she was paged.

“My divine lady, there’s a message from the queen.”

Biting back a groan, Rey pulled her sunglasses down to consider Ceepeeo, the steward of her estate. “Did she indicate if it was an emergency?”

“She did not, but then shouldn’t every request from the divine queen be treated as urgent?” The slender man asked, his eyes wide.

Rey swallowed down the responses that sprang to her tongue. It would do no good to take her frustration out on the man. Her real contention was with the queen.

Tipping her head back, she finished the rest of her wine in one gulp, wincing at the acerbic taste. Swinging her legs off the lounge chair, Rey rose to her feet, smoothing her hands down her thighs. “Yes, let’s not keep the queen waiting.”

Inside the house, Rey slipped into her private chamber to change from her swimsuit into something more appropriate for an audience with her queen and whatever business she sent her on. Her public persona usually brought forth visions of diaphanous white robes, cherubs with lyres, and beautiful young courtiers frolicking about in various states of undress. In reality, Rey’s attire depended upon which trench she was sent to: sterile hospital rooms, lonely nursing homes, classrooms with frightened school children hiding behind desks, or blood-soaked battlefields, holding the hands of the fallen. The list was depressingly long.

But an audience with the queen required confidence, so Rey donned a red pencil skirt, fitted white blouse, and slid her feet into black Louboutin heels. Love may be giving and compassionate, but Rey made sure it was always stylish.

When she was dressed, she lingered just inside the French doors that lead onto a balcony overlooking the ocean. Closing her eyes, she let the salty sea breeze wash over her, willing it to fortify her. Calm her nerves.

Instead of peace, ire flooded through her blood like a toxin, and Rey spun about in a huff. A litany of curses fell from her lips, words that would make her most ardent followers gasp in surprise. But damn it, Rey was livid. She had been working non-stop for _years_ to help combat the spread of hate, discord, and war that had been rippling like shockwaves through the world. Discontent spread gleefully, wantonly, by Sidious and Snoke, the gods of chaos and war. The divine queen always said Rey was the strongest deterrent to their power. _We're going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love._

Yet, Rey had felt her own power lagging as of late. That was why this holiday on her island was so sorely needed. But after only a week of respite, it appeared Rey was being called into service once again. The thought left her close to tears.

Which would not do. Rey was emotional — it was part of her very nature, after all — but she was not a coward. Nor did she quit, even when the odds were stacked against her. She never believed in odds, anyway. Rey could be counted on to do what she must, to the very end, because hope went hand in hand with love.

She braced her hands on the back of an arm chair, while she sucked air into her lungs until they were fill to bursting, slowly exhaling through her nose. Rey may be the goddess of love, but she had a quick temper and a foul mouth, and she hoped never to direct either at the divine queen. The older woman had always treated her with respect, so Rey trusted that the summons wasn’t done on a passing whim. That certainty helped rein in her frustration.

Once she’d established a sense of equilibrium, Rey closed her eyes and focused her thoughts on the queen. Her friendly smile and soothing voice. Since she’d been summoned directly, the connection between her and the queen was direct and instantaneous, or teleportation would be impossible for the deity’s true location was always cloaked.

When she opened her eyes again, Rey stood in an atrium with soaring ceilings, with a wall of doors flung open to welcome in the pine scented breeze blowing in from the surrounding mountain tops. She considered the view for a moment, always humbled by the sweeping vista of lush forest that stretched down, down to the cragged shore of a lake the cerulean blue of the sky above it, where Rey couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended.

A noise caught her attention, and she wandered into the cozy chamber to her left. There she spied the divine queen seated at a ornately carved mahogany desk, a stack of neatly organized papers to her right, and a fluffy feathered quill in her weathered hand, scribbling across a page. With her graying dark hair pulled into a crown of braids, and a pair of reading glasses perched on her nose, the queen looked completely ordinary.

An impression crafted by design, no doubt.

“Did you know humans have invented this machine called a computer. It virtually eliminates the need for paper and pen, let alone a quill. I don’t think I’ve seen a quill in two hundred years!” Rey sank onto one of the plush blue armchairs in front of the desk. “You should have Artoo look into it for you.”

“My dear, thank you for coming so quickly,” Leia murmured, not looking up from her work. “I’ll have Artoo research your suggestion.”

Rey rolled her eyes. Leia would do no such thing. “It’s not like I had much of a choice. When you wish an audience, an audience you get.”

Setting her quill down on the desktop, Leia carded her fingers together and considered Rey, her brown eyes swirling with a striation of colors. “But you never skirt my summons. You always respond, and for that I’m grateful.”

That small bit of praise soothed some of Rey’s irritation, before it quickly turned to panic. Sliding her hands along the arm rests, she gripped them tightly. “Has something happened? Am I needed again?”

The idea that all of her excruciating work over the last…how long had it been? Years? Decades? Centuries? That she had toiled to dissuade selfish, bigoted humans from constantly warring with each other over petty grievances, and that it all could be for naught, stole her breath. Amilyn would be devastated if the peace treaties were violated. The goddess of justice and order had her breaking point, and Sidious and Snoke seemed determined to find it.

“Nothing has happened, Rey. The treaties are still in place, although I don’t have to tell you how tenuous such agreements are.” Leia's gaze slid to the landscape beyond the windows. “Sidious and Snoke continue to do what they can to bring as much discontent to the world as possible.”

Prying her hands from their tight grip on the arm rests, Rey exhaled, her spine finally meeting the chair back. “If everything is as we left it, why the summons?”

The divine queen’s sigh was long and exhausted. “It’s Kylo.”

Those two words were a spark to the fuse that was her temper, and Rey jumped up, her fingers curling around the edge of the desk like talons. “For the love of all that is holy, please tell me he didn’t reject _another_ suitor!”

“Very well, I won’t tell you,” Leia said primly.

Rey clamped her teeth together so tightly, she was surprised she didn’t crack a tooth. “What was his excuse this time?”

“He didn’t tell me.” The queen took off her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Darling, you know my son is as stubborn as the day is long.”

Fuck, was he ever. Kylo Ren’s love life, or lack thereof, had been a thorn in her side for ages, for all that they were friends. The moody, dark, surprisingly sensitive god of death never failed to make her smile or laugh, even while he made her life difficult with his obstinate ways.

Case in point. Leia had tasked her with finding him a partner, and he seemed determine to reject every candidate.

“How long have I tried to find him a spouse?”

“Four hundred years, dear.”

“Four. Hundred. Years.” Rey squeezed her eyes shut. “Leia, that’s older than most present day countries. I don’t know why I bother. The man finds fault with everyone.”

“You bother because you know he’s lonely.” Leia shook her head. “He deals with the final repercussions of chaos and war every day. I simply want him to have someone to share the burden with. Someone who will make him smile. Make him laugh. Make his days brighter.”

Indignation escaped her body like a popped balloon. Still, Rey was not about to capitulate that easily. Resuming her seat, she met the queen’s gaze head on.

“Of course I’ll help Kylo…but I require compensation.”

“Naturally.” The queen arched a brow. “What do you want?”

Rey raised her chin. “I want one year — and not a human year, mind you — when I’m not dispatched to settle some catastrophe or another.” She paused before adding, “And I want the same for Amilyn.”

Leia tapped a finger against her lips. “That hardly seems possible in this current climate.”

“Yet, you’re the queen and more than capable of subduing Sidious and Snoke. Surely your son’s happiness is worth such an intercession?”

With a slight narrowing of her eyes, the queen eventually nodded. “Very well, I accept. But this deal is only valid if Kylo takes a spouse. If he rejects your next suitor, you and Amilyn will be called back into service when the need arises.”

“I understand.” Rey stood, mollified. Rounding the desk, she bussed both of Leia’s cheeks. “Now I’m off to visit your ornery son, where I plan to beat him for pulling me away from my lovely holiday. Then I intend to find him a woman or man willing to put up with his nonsense.”

The queen smiled, her swirling eyes bright. “I wish you great success, my dear.”

With a quick wave of her hand, Rey departed, her sights now set on an irascible god in need of some love.

_______________________________

Popular belief assumed death lived under the earth, in a dark lair as depressing and stifling as the afterlife itself.

Instead, Kylo Ren lived in the window-lined penthouse of a high rise in upper Manhattan. The irony of that always made Rey smile.

She teleported to the lobby of the building, ignoring the scent of the gyros cart parked on the corner. Rey scolded herself for not eating before she left to see Leia, for now she had no time for her hungry stomach. Pushing through the entrance, she proceeded up the elevator to the 82nd floor, where further ascent was impossible. Exiting the lift, she encountered a large desk where a pretty young woman snickered at something on her phone while the same Taylor Swift song she’d heard not an hour earlier pounded through her laptop speakers.

When the young woman caught sight of Rey, her jaw slackened, and she hastily stopped the music. “My divine lady, forgive me. I was unaware you’d be here.”

Rey snorted. “So was I.” She gestured with her chin to the floor above. “How is he?”

“Same as always. Temperamental and recalcitrant. He’s playing his piano, so that should help,” Rose said, puffing her cheeks on an exhale.

“At least it’s not the violin.”

They exchanged a knowing look. When Kylo took out his violin, his mood was volatile, and he intended to assuage it with broken strings and bleeding fingers.

Casting the thought aside, Rey studied the young woman. “You look lovely, Rose. Is the baby treating you well?”

“As well as can be expected at thirty two weeks.” Rose rubbed a hand over her expanded midsection, her cheeks pink. “I’ve heard it only gets worse, so I try not to complain.”

Propping her hip on the corner of the desk, Rey crossed her arms over her chest. “But no one would fault you if you did.”

“Well, some might,” Rose said, looking up.

“Nonsense. Kylo may be doom and gloom at times, but he’s a secret softie for babies, puppies, and kittens alike.”

Rose laughed. “But as I am none of those things, I won’t push my luck.”

Rey took deep satisfaction in Rose’s glowing countenance. She’d introduced the young woman to her now husband some years before, knowing the two would be a good match. Rey was always right about such things.

Well, _almost_ always. Hence why she was there and not lounging on her beach.

“If you and Hux want to get away for a holiday before the baby arrives, take a babymoon, you’re more than welcome to visit the island. Ceepeeo would love to pamper a pregnant lady.”

Rose’s dark eyes went wide. “Wow, that’s so generous of you, my lady. I would love that.”

“Someone should enjoy it.” Rey spread her palms. “I’m certainly not.”

The smile slipped from Rose’s face. “Hopefully his lordship won’t be too put out if I request some time away.”

“Leave him to me,” Rey said, pushing off the desk. With a quick wave, she walked to the opposite wall, pressing a button to reveal the hidden lift that provided entry to Kylo’s chambers. “Just send an email to Ceepeeo with the dates you’d like to visit, and he’ll arrange everything. Have a good evening, Rose.”

A moment later, she heard the piano notes before the lift door opened. Stepping lightly across the expanse of parquet wood floors, Rey stopped at the pillared entry, her eyes alighting on the very person she had come to see.

Kylo sat on a bench before a black lacquered grand piano. Angled away from her, his long fingers danced over the keys as he coaxed stirring music to fill the room to the coffered ceilings. An expanse of beveled windows showcased the lights of the Manhattan skyline, the perfect backdrop for a dark lord. With his glossy raven locks brushing against his jaw as he moved, and his broad shoulders flexing under his black sweater as his graceful hands played, Kylo looked like a fallen angel. Rey shivered at the sight.

He played a song she didn’t recognize, but it was sublime. Emotive. More so because Kylo performed it with a single-minded intensity. Rey leaned against the pillared frame, content to watch him in his element.

As the last notes strummed through the air, Kylo ran his palms over the keys. “Hello, Sunshine.”

“Kylo.” She slipped off her heels and crossed the room, sliding onto the bench next to him. “What was that song called?”

“ _Nuvole bianche_. Did you like it?”

“It was beautiful.” She glanced up at him. “It’s not as complex or challenging as the Chopin or Mozart pieces you like to play.”

Kylo’s dark eyes were piercing. “Sometimes it’s the simple arrangements that tell the most profound story.”

Unable to hold his gaze any longer, Rey studied the black and white keys before her. She’d forgotten how… _much_ Kylo could be. How being the object of his study could be intimidating. And flattering. She steadfastly ignored the heat that snaked down her spine.

She swallowed. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other —”

“Two years,” he interrupted. “And a handful of months.”

Rey gasped. “Has it really been that long?”

“Not since we danced at Rose and Hux’s wedding. Do you remember?”

Of course she remembered. The wedding had been romantic, so filled with love, that it was impossible not to get caught up in the happiness swirling about the couple. More so, Rey remembered the fun she had with Kylo, laughing at his dry, caustic comments, swapping work stories, and dancing through the night.

It had been her last carefree night since. What a lowering thought.

“You’re a horrible dancer,” she murmured, bumping his shoulder with her own.

“And yet you consented to dance with me more than once.” He tweaked a curl brushing against her cheek.

“I was hoping some of my moves would rub off on you.”

His chuckle was deep and smoky, like fine whisky. “You should know that’s a lost cause. Not with these big feet.”

“Well, dancing may not be your forte, but you know what they say about men with big feet.”

Rey realized her error when Kylo went still beside her. Daring to look up, she found him staring at her with a smirk on his sinfully full lips. “No Rey, what do they say about men with big feet?”

Despite her resolve, heat flushed up her neck and spread over her cheeks. Although the lighting was dim, the room only illuminated by a pair of lamps in the corners, Kylo most certainly did not miss such a detail. He was a god, after all.

_Dammit._

Resisting the urge to fidget, Rey said the first thing that came to her mind. “Big feet, big…ego.”

“Ego, huh?” His black brow hitched up. “I could have sworn I heard the saying differently.”

Rey shook her head. “Then I’m sure you would have heard it wrong. Between the two of us, who actually interacts with humans and would know their idioms?”

“I interact with humans, plenty. Thank you.”

"Rose doesn't count."

"I speak with more than just—"

“Deceased humans don’t count, either.”

“Ouch. That’s unfair.” Kylo scowled. “They may have lost their corporeal forms, but their spirits are still whole. As the goddess of love, I would think you’d value the spirit higher than the body.”

“Yes, well.” She flicked her hand. “Perhaps we can talk about why I’m here.”

He rotated about to face her fully, the midnight pools of his eyes reflecting the lamplight. “I…I thought you were here for a friendly call? Was I mistaken?”

There was a hint of…hurt, perhaps, in his tone that made her heart squeeze. Rey had not thought to visit him once she’d been free of her duties, and a wave of shame swept over her. Kylo was her oldest friend, and she hadn’t even inquired after him. That slight had her reach out to take his hand, twining their fingers together.

“I’m sorry. I should have come sooner.” Rey dropped her gaze to study her tan fingers laced with his pale ones. “I was just desperate to rest, and didn’t think much past my own need to squirrel myself away.” She licked her lips. “Still, you could have come to see me. You’re always welcome on the island.”

His silence brought her head up. Kylo was also studying their linked hands, a wistful expression softening the harsh beauty of his face.

“It’s not easy for me to leave. Death doesn’t recognize sabbaticals. Still…” He exhaled, “I know how hard you’ve been working trying to keep the whole world from falling into mayhem, and your well earned holiday seemed more important than catching up with an old friend.”

Faith, but he was so much more thoughtful than most people of her acquaintance. Rey stroked a thumb across his knuckles. “Is that why you didn’t tell me about your last suitor?”

Abruptly, he dropped her hand, and spun about to face the piano again. Kylo spread his fingers over the keys but didn’t start a song. Instead, his hands hovered, shaking just so.

Inching closer, Rey whispered, “What happened?”

Kylo dropped his chin to his chest. “Nothing happened. She just wasn’t…right.”

“But why not? Akila had two degrees. Her thesis was on the complexities of the Egyptian underworld, and she played the harp. The harp! Who plays the harp these days?”

He didn’t respond.

Rey pushed on. “She was also beautiful, with her lovely umber skin and all that rich black hair. You two would have made a striking pair.” She flourished her hands about. “The ultimate king and queen of death.”

“Perhaps.” Kylo shrugged. “But, sadly, I didn’t feel more than a respectful regard for her.”

“Argh. What am I going to do with you?” Rey massaged her temples. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to find you a spouse?”

“Four hundred and three years. Human years, that is.”

She frowned. “So you _are_ tapped into the human world.”

“If you say so.”

This dear, stubborn man. Sliding her palms down her thighs, Rey corralled her thoughts. “Tell me, for the four hundredth and _fourth_ time, what you’re looking for in a spouse.”

Kylo glanced at her. “If you knew me half as well as you claimed you did, Sunshine, you wouldn’t have to ask about the woman I coveted. You would already know.”

A frown twisted her lips. “Well, apparently I don’t or I wouldn’t be here, _now_ , worrying about your love life.”

“I suppose not.” His expression was indecipherable. “Tell me what criteria you’ve used in the past.”

Rey gripped the back of the bench, leaning on her extended arms, her eyes fixed on the coffered ceiling above. “I’ve long thought you would be happy with someone who would challenge you intellectually, and whom you can discuss the complex philosophical topics you’re so fond of.”

He grunted.

“Someone who’s well read, and _you know_ by that, I mean someone who doesn’t just read stuffy, high brow literature. But also memoirs, historical non-fiction and fiction. Cozy mysteries and sci-fi fantasies. And, of course, romance. If anyone needs romance in their life, it’s you, Kylo.”

His fingers flexing over the keys was the only indication he was listening to her. Undeterred, she continued.

“You deserve someone soft. Gentle. A person who will unabashedly give you their whole damn heart because they know you’ll keep it safe. Treasure it as the precious thing it is.” Rey couldn’t help but to press a kiss to his shoulder. “You deserve to have a spouse who will look past your title, the darkness that by necessity surrounds you, the respectful solemnity you show, and will love you as whole-heartedly as I know you would love them.”

A stillness stretched between them, like a bow string pulled too taut. Rey bit her lip, her eyes darting about as she debated how to defuse the tension. Had she ever spoken to him so earnestly? Had she ever revealed, so baldly, all her hopes and wishes for him? Rey doubted not. She prayed, rather fervently, that she hadn’t made him uncomfortable. The idea she had made him uneasy left her a bit breathless.

This visit was not going as planned, and she was at a loss to understand why.

“Rey,” he murmured, his hands curling into fists, “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”

And she’d missed him. She was as certain of that truth as she was of her own name. It frightened her…so she ignored it, resolved to consider it another time.

_Or never._

“Will you play for me?” Rey rested her head on his arm, desperate to recover a bit of their old accord.

Kylo offered her the specter of a smile. “I _always_ play for you.”

With that disclosure, he launched into a cheerful tune she recognized from the movie _Amélie_. They had watched it together years before, and he knew she was fond of the quirky, romantic story.

Closing her eyes, Rey smiled as the playful notes floated about her like weightless bubbles. Only then did she allow herself a moment of repose. A moment that consisted of just her and Kylo, their responsibilities and burdens fading into the background.

Where she also brushed aside the anxiety that squeezed her chest like a vice at the idea of restarting her search for his spouse.

__________________________________________

Rey wrenched her eyes open, a gasp slipping from her lips as she tried to make sense of where she was. She thrashed her arms out, until a gentle kiss pressed against her brow.

“Shhh, I have you, Sunshine.”

Kylo. His familiar cedar wood and mint scent filled her senses, and she relaxed against his broad chest.

“You fell asleep. I was playing _Nocturne No. 20_ one moment, and you were snoring the next.”

“I don’t snore,” she grumbled.

“Of course not.” There was a smile in his voice. “But if you did, it would be understandable. You’re running on fumes, holding the world together with your two dainty hands.”

“I can do it.”

He hummed in agreement. “Of course you can.”

“There’s just been _so_ much to do.”

“Well, now all you have to do is rest,” he said, setting her down gently.

Blinking in the faint lighting, Rey realized he’d brought her into a large bedroom. From the plush carpet, to the heavy drapes framing the windows, to the broad ebony wood headboard of the bed she sat on, she suspected it was his. The intimacy of the gesture sent her pulse skittering. But exhaustion also pressed down on her limbs, on her eyelids, and she couldn’t bring herself to protest.

She burrowed under the sheets when he pulled the duvet down, but growled when her pencil skirt bunched around her thighs. “Kylo, do you have a pair of pants or shorts I can wear?”

He paused mid stride, his eyes closing briefly. “None of them will fit you. H-how about a shirt?”

Rey nodded. “Perfect. It’ll fit me like a night dress.”

With a snap of his fingers, a large black button-up shirt appeared in his hand. Swallowing, he extended it to her.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Rising to her feet, Rey reached her hand around to grab the zipper that ran up the back of her skirt. She pulled it down half an inch when she realized Kylo was watching her. Meeting his gaze over her shoulder, he quickly pivoted away, his cheeks flushing. But before he did, his eyes had burned with desire. _For her_.

Kylo was present in her earliest memories. In all the millennia since then, they had never moved past friendship to intimacy, and suddenly Rey could not understand why. She’d always thought him handsome, painfully so, and his dry, witty humor never failed to make her laugh. That combination alone had granted many men and gods invitations to her bed. But never him. That she had never fucked Kylo seemed _sacrilegious_. The idea of his large, graceful hands, the same ones she admired as they moved over the piano keys, stroking over her skin sent molten arousal rushing to pool low in her belly.

Peeking at him over her shoulder again, Rey pondered what to do. Would a night of sex ruin their friendship? Would they be able to laugh and tease each other if they knew the sounds the other made when they came? Because she was confident, with a certainty rooted in her marrow, that Kylo would wring orgasms from her, one after the other, on a string of ecstasy.

Would Rey be able to find him a bride once she’d experienced pleasure at his hands?

She had no answers, but remembering the heat of his stare, Rey decided answers could wait for the morning. For one night, she would indulge in passion with the only person who had ever been a constant in her life.

Facing forward again, Rey bit her lip as she slowly…ever so slowly…dragged the zipper down. The quiet zing of metal was the only sound in the still room.

Once the waistband gaped around her midsection, Rey dragged it over her hips, allowing it to pool at her feet. She felt lightheaded, desire sucking the air from her lungs, leaving them aflame. With quivering fingers she unbuttoned her fitted blouse, stripping it off her arms with exaggerated movements, dropping it to the floor with a soft whooshing sound.

Kylo moved not an inch. She doubted he drew in breath. But Rey could _feel_ his gaze skim over her like a feathered caress.

Pressing her lips together, Rey reached back to unsnap her bra, flinging it to the side was a sigh of relief. She may be immortal, but bras were confounded contraptions she still felt pressured to wear at times. Languidly, Rey slipped his black shirt over her head, biting back a sigh when his scent surrounded her like an intoxicating cloud.

Pivoting, she climbed into his spacious bed, snuggling in amongst the silk sheets with a sigh. Only then did Rey look at him, her brow arched. “Will I be sleeping alone?”

He emitted an incoherent sound, one she suspected might be a groan. With the speed of the divine, Kylo ripped his black sweater from his shoulders, and shucked off his dark denim jeans, leaving him clad in only a snug pair of boxer briefs. Rey tore her gaze away. The truth they hinted at made her mouth run dry.

Had she really just been on the verge of exhaustion? Because exhilaration flooded her veins, delivering lust and an heady sense of power to all her extremities.

Kylo slipped under the sheet, turning his big body until he faced her, and they lay curled toward each other like a disjointed yin and yang symbol. A dark, smoldering energy emanated from him, some unknown fusion of desire, need, and something infinitely more tender. Rey clenched her jaw, determined to ignore the latter. She welcomed his ardor, reveled in it, but her heart shied from the gentle warmth in his fathomless eyes.

“Ben,” she whispered, the ancient name slipping from her tongue unbidden. A name he’d been called before he’d taken up death’s mantle, but one she’d never forgotten. Just as she remembered the dark haired boy with the sad eyes she had always tried to make smile. “I don’t…I’m afraid…I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

His eyes widened. “Rey, there’s nothing you could do that would ever change how I feel about you.”

Had his voice always been so fervent? Had Kylo ever looked at as he did now, as if every sunrise and sunset in his immortal life rose and set on her.

Christ, she had come here to finally find him a bride, and instead Rey found herself in his bed, an ache building between her legs…even while an inconvenient throb spread in her chest.

She abruptly grasped for levity. “I bet if I sang that Proclaimers song, you’d feel quite differently about me.

“Well, you _are_ a terrible singer,” he drawled, chuckling as he blocked her fist from striking his chin.

And he didn’t let it go, instead using it to reel her in, until her breasts were flushed with his chest. Kylo — _Ben_ — stared into her eyes for a long moment, gauging her reaction, before pressing his lips to her own.

Rey had been kissed countless times over the course of her long life, and she had enjoyed all sorts of physicals pleasures. But none of those experiences, not a damn one, could possibly compare to the exquisite feel, the delicious taste, of Ben’s mouth against hers. Like a meteor streaking across an obsidian sky, he whited out all of those trivial memories.

_This_ was her first kiss.

Weaving her eager hands into his inky locks, Rey slanted her mouth to take more of him. To take everything he had to give. When his tongue slipped inside, engaging hers in a dance, she moaned, long and low. Lust, _want_ , was a potent drug, and she was determined to have more of it.

Ben dragged his lips across her jaw and down the long column of her throat, and Rey arched back in invitation.

“Rey,” he whispered against her skin, “I’ve longed to do this for ages.”

She blinked. “You have?”

He nipped at the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. “You’re the first thing I ever remember wanting.”

Clenching her eyes closed, shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you do.” Ben plucked a button free on the black shirt she wore, pressing a kiss to the skin he exposed. He freed another, and kissed her again. “You’re so damn clever. So canny and insightful. You know exactly what I’m saying. You just don’t want to acknowledge it.”

_Fuck_ , he was right. As Ben nuzzled her now exposed breasts, laving the hard tips with his tongue, Rey was thankful for the reprieve. It was so much easier to focus on the way he played her body like one of his instruments than to consider all the many years he’d been pining for her.

Rey would save that revelation for when she had weapons available to protect her long decrepit heart.

While she attempted to wade through her arousal to understand the truths he spoke to her body and heart, Ben inched his way down to the juncture between her legs. Ripping her panties away, he exhaled sharply against her delicate flesh.

“Rey, you’re so fucking beautiful here.” Ben said her name like a prayer. Then he slowly ran a finger down her slit.

She lost control of her sight. Of her hearing. Of every other sense aside from Ben’s touch. And when he flicked her clit with the hot tip of his tongue, her back arched as she cried out wordlessly.

Running her nails across his scalp, Rey gripped the strands, holding him close as she undulated against his mouth and tongue. His ministrations were an offering, and she was desperate for them. After a moment, he paused. Ben’s hypnotic gaze snagged hers as he popped two of his thick fingers in his mouth, sucked on them loudly, _lewdly_ , and then thrust them inside her. The stretch, the burn made her grit her teeth, even as Rey spread her legs wider, determined to feel it all. And when he crooked his fingers, rubbing the calloused pads against her inner wall, her hips elevated off the bed, and Rey shrieked as her pussy clenched and spasmed around him.

It felt as if she’d leapt from a tall building, but rather than crashing to the ground, Rey floated, buoyant, in a sea of boneless contentment. Only when his strong arms gathered her close, kissing her passionately, did she come back down to earth.

As she struggled to regain her bearings, Rey pulled back to look at him. He was so fucking hot, his dark hair tousled and his mouth still glistening from _her_ , and suddenly flames were licking across her skin anew. She scraped her fingernails down his chest, her exploring fingers dancing their way down his abdomen, when Ben suddenly sat up, his back settling against the headboard. Arching a black brow, he jerked his head to where his erection strained against the front of his boxer briefs.

“Make it wet, Rey.”

The command, spoken in his crushed velvet voice, made her tremble in want, and Rey could swear she felt moisture dripping down the inside of her leg. All too eager to obey, she dragged his boxers down his firm thighs, moaning in the back of her throat when his heavy cock sprang free. And holy shit, what a cock it was. Those dusty old marble sculptures showcased in museums could never, ever incapsulate the perfect male physique, for their models had not been Kylo _fucking_ Ren.

But as much as she wanted to taste him on her tongue, Rey intended to play with her snack first. Raising her eyes to meet his, she swirled the tip of one finger around the crown, barely touching him. Ben’s pupils blacked out his irises, and he sucked a strained breath in through his nose.

“Rey,” he growled.

She bat her lashes. “Oh, am I doing something wrong?”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Is this better?” She asked, flicking out her tongue to tease the slit, already leaking pre-cum.

Ben bared his teeth. “Not quite.”

“No?” Rey pursed her lips. “How about this, then?”

And she brought her mouth down over his cock, taking him until his hard length nudged at the back of her throat.

“Fuuuuuck,” he cried, tangling his hands in her hair, a litany of curses falling from his lips like a musical score.

Doing her best to grip the thick base, Rey worked him with her hands and mouth, each wet motion her alms to the god of death. But when she felt him grow tense, she immediately pulled away, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Ben’s gaze was wild, red a stripe across each cheek, his chest heaving with his breaths. “Rey,” he began before she held up a hand to stop him.

“When you come, I want you to come with me,” she purred, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle his waist.

In this position, they were eye to eye, and the intimacy was daunting. But Ben, who’d always seemed to know her thoughts, grasped her hips, his thumbs stroking her flesh. She was vaguely amused by the thought of him calming a skittish horse with the same comforting touch.

“I’m scared, too,” he whispered. And then he leaned forward and kissed her. The contact was light, fleeting, but it stitched back together the loose threads of her courage.

Biting her lip, Rey arched her pelvis, gripped his cock in her palm, and notched him against her entrance. Staring into Ben’s eyes, unable and unwilling to look away from the reverent light shining in the dark depths, she slid down, taking him to the hilt. An inhuman sound rumbled in his chest, and Rey smiled.

And then she shivered, her body doing its best to accommodate him and the home he’d made inside her. Like everything about Ben, he overwhelmed her. Consumed her. Demanded everything she had to offer.

“Move, love,” he bit out, thrusting his hips up involuntarily. Petitioning for more of her. Again.

Rey could not deny him. Grasping his hands, pressing her palms flat against his, she rocked against him. They sighed in unison. Like a powder keg with a lit fuse, Rey burned hotter, her every nerve ending primed for detonation. Grinding down, she chased her orgasm, desperate for the mind-blowing ecstasy building in her core.

Ben cursed. Running his hands up her back, he gripped the base of her skull, leaning her back so he was at liberty to plant kisses along her collarbone and across her breasts.

“You feel…so much…better… than I could’ve…possibly imagined,” he panted, his tone awed.

At his words, Rey dropped her hands back to grasp his legs behind her. The new position rubbed his cockhead against the front wall of her pussy, and she keened. Within a few strokes, she hovered on the peak. Ben ran his gorgeous hands up the inside of her thighs, where he vigorously rubbed her clit. “Come, Sunshine. Let me feel it.”

Rey exploded like a long dormant volcano. Her legs spasmed around his hips, her breath leaving her in a gasp, her chest dropping to his while she milked him. She managed a shaky smile when Ben followed her with a shout.

In the sticky, sweaty aftermath, they lay intwined, Rey’s chest pressed against his. Was it possible for a person’s whole world view to be altered with one mind-blowing orgasm? Rey supposed she could write a thesis in defense of such an argument.

With gradual movements, Rey slid off Ben’s chest and came to rest against his side, her hand pressed over his rapidly beating heart. Awkwardness crowded in as the glow of her orgasm waned, and she clenched her eyes against reality.

“Don’t do it,” he whispered against her temple, looping his arms about her shoulders and cradling her close. “Don’t you dare regret this.”

“Why not?” Rey pushed, although regret hadn’t even occurred to her.

“Because if you regret the single greatest moment of my long, lonely life, you may just break me.”

_____________________________

The cool sand slipped between her toes as another wave crashed against her legs.

Rey sighed, tipping her face up, and letting the hot sun kiss her skin. It had been three days since she’d seen Ben. Three long days since she had waited for him to fall asleep, and then watched the steady rise and fall of his firm chest for an indecipherable amount of time. What was time anyway, when one was immortal? Rey couldn’t think of when she’d ever seen him so relaxed. Unguarded. Content. She had done that to him, and that truth had made her extricate herself from his bed, and flee from his penthouse.

Ben hadn’t tried to contact her. Aside from Ceepeeo, Rey hadn’t spoke with a soul since her friends had left the morning of her return. She was grateful. As always, Ben seemed to understand that what she needed was space. Space to make sense of the fount of emotions rippling inside of her. Space to determine a way forward in a world that, despite its exterior appearance, had been drastically altered from the moment she’d unzipped her skirt.

In that space Ben had provided, Rey had come to two conclusions. One, she was in love with him, and probably had been for ages. And two, she saw no way a future between them could be possible. He was death, and in many ways, love was _life_. Rey forced down a painful swallow, for she had no idea how to bridge the two.

Wading out into the surf, she closed her eyes as the water battered her, determined to loosen her hold on the foundation she had built her timeless life upon…not realizing those lonely years had been built on shifting sand.

“Ben,” she murmured without thought. His name had become a conundrum. As well as a plea.

The wind seemed to shift, and the roar of the ocean grew muted. A current electrified her bones, and Rey was compelled to look down the shoreline where she spied a figure in black walking toward her. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his prowling steps, his gaze focused and hungry. He came to a stop before her, uncaring for the water that swirled about them, his eyes seeing only her.

He’d come. Rey had whispered his name and he’d come, as if he’d been waiting on tenterhooks for her call. As if he’d been waiting for her to be ready for countless years.

Neither of them spoke, letting the salty wind and the breaking waves communicate all their chaotic emotions.

“Do you know why I call you Sunshine?” Ben asked.

Rey scowled. “Because I’m a ‘Rey of sunshine’. I’ve heard that bullshit for years.”

“Not quite, my feisty one.” His expression softened. “I call you that because love is the only light that can pierce the darkness, and illuminate the shadows. Love let’s in the sunlight. That’s what you’ve done to my soul every damn day.”

Tears clogged her throat. “Ben, I - I don’t know that this is possible.”

“What is _this_ to you?”

“A relationship,” she shouted, the breeze snatching the words and whipping them away. “Leia has tasked me with finding you a partner, and it can’t be me.”

“Why not?”

Her hands curled into fists so tight her nails cut into her palms. “Because you’re _death_. And I’m love. How could such polar opposites be happy together?”

Ben tucked an errant curl behind her ear, a shadow of a smile on his lips. “Rey, do you think us opponents? Do you suppose death is the enemy of love?”

The back of her eyes burned, and her mouth trembled, but Rey pushed on, desperate for him to understand. “Yes! I’ve felt the grief of a mother who’s lost her child. The husband who mourns his dead wife. The girl left orphaned by her parents’ untimely death. I’ve experienced the heartbreak and the pain. Death is the end of all that is lovely and good.”

“But it’s not.” When she opened her mouth to argue, Ben pressed a finger to her lips. “Love endures beyond the veil between life and death. It’s what drives people to visit the graves of their long passed family members. It’s why they build ofrendas and pyramids and altars to honor those who have gone before. It’s why people tattoo their skin with the names and likenesses of those who’ve departed. Love is why they mourn. Love is why they remember. Rey, it’s their love that endures.”

Rey pressed a hand to her mouth, too overcome to speak.

He cupped her cheek, the pad of his thumb running along her jaw. “Do you think discord, hate, and fear are present in the underworld? Do you believe them strong enough to traverse the veil?

“I don’t know,” she whispered, brokenly.

“Sidious and Snoke gloat, believing death is their victory, but they’re fools. Love is the only thing more powerful than death. It may be thwarted but it’s never conquered.”

Ben kissed her then, his mouth confident and sure. “I’ve been waiting, hoping you would realize how perfect, how natural, we are together. You've spread your love so freely, Rey. So unselfishly. And now I want to love you in return.”

She hiccuped. “Is that why you’ve rejected all my suitors?”

He scoffed. “As if any candidate you found could possibly fill the Rey-shaped hole in my heart.”

And with those words, Rey lost the battle with her tears. They streamed down her face, where the stinging wind quickly dried them on her cheeks. Grasping his black sweater, she closed the distance between them and kissed Ben with her whole heart. Finally unafraid. He held her close, his hands running up her back and across her shoulders, as if worried she’d disappear. Rey looped her arms around his waist to prove she wasn’t going anywhere.

After several long minutes, Rey broke the kiss, panting as a new thought occurred to her.

“Leia promised that if I found you a partner, she would give me the year off. I don’t think she’ll be keen to adhere to our terms when she learns I stepped in to fill the role instead.”

Ben dragged his hands down her back, gripping her ass and hauling her against his straining erection. “Sunshine, my mother set you to the task specifically hoping you would recognize _you_ were my ideal partner.”

“She did?” Rey gaped.

“She’ll be thrilled you finally caught on,” he murmured, dodging her smack with a laugh.

“The queen could have just told me,” she grumbled.

Ben snorted. “Really?”

“Okay, probably not,” Rey admitted, knowing she would have foolishly discarded the suggestion. And, as a result, denied herself _so_ much.

Her indignation sparked for only moment, for it was hard to be upset when surrounded by happiness. “You’re both so much more patient than I could be.”

Grasping her arms, Ben gathered her close again. “And thank providence for that.”

Rey nestled against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent, finally feeling at home.

“I don’t want to live forever if it’s not with you,” he murmured against her temple.

And Rey sighed, her lips tipping up in agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Your kudos and comments give me life!


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